The Diagnosis

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The Diagnosis
曲繪 by a_kaeyada
演唱	見#CAST
作詞	Kim Jinhyoung，Marcus Perkins Bejarano
作曲	Kim Jinhyoung，Marcus Perkins Bejarano
編曲	Kim Jinhyoung
後期	LinkingHearts，Kim Jinhyoung

《The Diagnosis》是a_kaeyada製作的原神主題動畫音樂短劇，由Marcus Perkins Bejarano、Daniel J. Edwards、Zachary Noah Piser等演唱，於2023年4月16日發佈。截至目前已有 -- 次觀看， -- 人收藏。

本片為HoYoFair 2023春季 原神同人特別節目「春日驚奇樂園」的單品之一。

概括

音樂劇講述了卡維與賽諾、提納里小聚時，向他們吐槽室友艾爾海森，卻被蘭巴德酒館裏的眾人勸告要直面自己真實想法，最後承認自己嫉妒艾爾海森又被本人撞見的故事。

標題「The Diagnosis」意為「診斷、結論」。

STAFF

• 作詞、作曲：Kim Jinhyoung & Marcus Perkins Bejarano
• 編曲：Kim Jinhyoung
• 結他：Hui Juhn Kim
• 後期音頻： LinkingHearts, Kim Jinhyoung
• 動畫：えんぴつ（a_kaeyada）

CAST

• 賽諾：Daniel J. Edwards
• 提納里：Zachary Noah Piser
• 艾爾海森：Kim Jinhyoung
• 卡維：Marcus Perkins Bejarano
• 蘭巴德：Gavin Knittle
• 其他路人：Q Lim

歌曲

寬屏模式顯示視頻

歌詞

本段落中所使用的歌詞，其著作權屬於原著作權人，僅以介紹為目的引用。

• 對白部分使用斜體字標出。
• 翻譯：Crepus

合唱

賽諾＆提納里合唱

賽諾  提納里  艾爾海森  卡維  蘭巴德 

That's why rooming with Alhaitham is the worst.

這就是為什麼和艾爾海森做室友最糟糕了。

Oh,and another thing.He's been wearing my limited edition weasel house slippers!

哦還有，他穿了我的限量款黃鼬拖鞋！

Kaveh,stop complaining about Alhaitham.

卡維，別再抱怨艾爾海森了。

Besides,why would he wear you slippers?

而且他幹嘛非得穿你的拖鞋？

He's so much richer than you.

他比你有錢那麼多，

If he wanted,he could buy thousands of them.

如果他想的話，給自己買上百千雙都行。

Ehh!On top of everything else,I think I'm getting sick…

呃呃，最重要的是，我覺得我難受……

At the mention of Alhaitham maybe.

可能一提到艾爾海森就這樣吧。（笑）

Kaveh,as a Forest Watcher,I've seen my share of ailments.

卡維，作為巡林官，我給人看過的小毛病還挺多的。

If you'd like with Cyno's help I can diagnose you.

如果你樂意的話，我和賽諾可以一塊幫你做個檢查噢。

Do you think this is serious?!Tell me what you see.

我的情況嚴重嗎？你看着怎麼樣？

Cheeks are sunken Like an old man's as he dies

雙頰凹陷 像老人臨終模樣

(What?)

（啥？）

And from the bulging of your eyes

雙目鼓脹也預兆

You've got the most severe of cases

你大概已經病入膏肓

(Dianosis

（診斷書：

At this point,

綜合症狀來看，

you look like

你的狀態像

a withered fungus…)

一隻枯焦的蕈獸……）

(That's just how my face is!)

（我臉本來就這樣啊！）

Posture's shrunken Nausea is your new routine

枯癟憔悴 之後伴隨着反胃

It's up to us to intervene

就讓我們來揭曉

And shed a light on what your symptoms mean

你的病因再對症下藥

All the indicators Tell us You're jealous(Huh?)

種種跡象不難回答 你嫉妒他（哈？）

It's safe to say Alhaitham's great renown

艾爾海森事業飛黃騰達

In Teyvat brings you down

有你難及的榮華

They tell us You're jealous

承認吧 你嫉妒他

You're diagnosed Let's toast to nature's laws

診斷完成 是自然天性萌發

You're symptoms have a cause

症與因多自洽

This is crazy!

你們瘋了！

Who makes you think I'm jealous of Alhaitham?

是什麼讓你們覺得我在嫉妒艾爾海森啊？

It's his look It's his vibe

是他氣場、他外貌

It's his status as a Scribe

他大書記官的名號

Bet you nag him like a spouse

猜你總抱怨又吐槽

Because you can't afford his house(Hey!)

正是因為沒法把房租交（喂！）

It's the"clap,clap,claps"

是人們啪啪啪鼓掌

He gots as Acting Grand Sage

稱頌他年輕的榮耀

Do you snap,snap,snap

而你唰啦啦

Because his youth reminds you of your age?

相形失色 學長面子要難保

Turn the page!

再者說

It could be the fact that you want his wage

你難道不想和他工資一般高

Since you're always short of Mora

畢竟你熟悉囊中羞澀

You know debt like I know flora

堪比我熟悉花和草

For a second just reflect

你大可好好思考

And respect our intellect

稱讚我們智慧的高妙

Our theory isn't off-the-cuff It's obvious

這結論不言而喻 經得起推敲

I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!

我受夠了！！！

Fellas,he's jealous

夥計們 他嫉妒啦

(Oh,come on)

（天，拜託……）

No wonder why!

不必見怪

If I was broke as you

誰手頭沒錢花

I'd feel pathetic too

都難免低氣壓

As clues accrue

將線索歸納

They tell us You're jealous

不難回答 你嫉妒他

You're diagnosed!Let's toast to nature's laws

診斷完成 是自然天性萌發

You're symptoms have a cause

症與因多自洽

You've been in Denial A while

你總是 在否認 在掙扎

But it'd be best

但可曾嘗試

If you confessed the way you really feel

一吐為快去傾訴真實想法

You'd share it We'd hear it

你坦言 我接納

Your spirit Would soar

讓靈魂升華——

There's no need to conceal

不再遮掩懼怕

What could help you to heal

從此徹底放下

So tell us You're jealous We're zealous

承認吧 你嫉妒他

Cause we've been there before

熱心大夥 都是過來人啦！

You'd share it We'd hear it

你坦言 我接納

Your spirit Would soar

讓靈魂升華

Tell us you're jealous

承認吧 你嫉妒他

The truth is a useful tool

誠實是最優解法

Tell us you're jealous

承認吧 你嫉妒他

Let's move on,so we can duel

告別過往 再戰一把

Tell us you're jealous

承認吧 你嫉妒他

You don't have to play pretend

不要假裝無牽無掛

Tell us you're jealous

承認吧 你嫉妒他

Or this song will never end——!

否則這歌不會停下——

I'm jealous!

我嫉妒了！

I knew it.

我知道。

Alhaitham?!

艾爾海森？！

Yay!

耶！